Friday, July 03, 2009

Chicken crosses road; state police fail to solve mystery.

Well, we still don't know WHY the chicken crossed the road, but we do know which road (highway 17 north of Phoenix) and what the result was (a major traffic backup.)

Rooster on road backs up I-17.

Drivers found themselves contending with more than holiday traffic Friday when a chicken was found crossing the road.

Northbound Interstate 17 remains backed up north of Loop 101 after a rooster tried to cross the freeway about 11 a.m. at Arizona 74

"It's just a busy holiday - and of course the rooster," said Officer Robert Bailey, a DPS spokesman. "The rooster only compounded matters."

An officer removed the uninjured bird within 40 minutes, but Bailey expects the heavy Fourth of July traffic to remain slow-and-go through late this evening.


Unfortunately the article goes on to say that the officer took the bird to New River and released it, without first asking the chicken WHY it crossed the road!

This whole matter of motivation is the key question that should have been asked here. People have been asking why the chicken crosses the road since, well, there were roads and chickens crossed them.

With modern interrogation techniques, including some developed for use in cases of rendition, the chicken could have been made to confess why it crossed the road. Not just physical pain, but the infliction of terror. Just imagine a state patrol officer walking into the room where the chicken was being asked, "Just one more time, WHY?" dressed up as Colonel Sanders, holding a knife and a fork. THEN you'd hear some squawking, yes, you would.

Yes, the Obama administration has banned some of these techniques (so no terrorist ever has to worry about Colonel Sanders conducting the inquiry) and for that I am glad. But even with kinder, gentler interrogation techniques ('Do you want a cigar?') some effort should have been made to solve the mystery of why the chicken crossed the road before the rooster was let go, so that he can come back and cross another road someplace.

1 comment:

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victor
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