Monday, May 26, 2008

Eleven cheap shots at McCain being old:

While websurfing tonight I came upon a blog called elecric venom and a humorous post on John McCain's age. At the risk of being politically incorrect, I have to admit that I posted eleven cheap shots over there, and they were too good not to also post over here.

Best thoughts about McCain being old:

1. He was an ace pilot in the war. In fact, he survived at least one dogfight with the Red Baron.

2. He went to junior high school with Strom Thurmond.

3. If McCain loses the election, he could team up with Bob Dole on those viagra commercials.

4. If they make another 'Indiana Jones' movie, McCain could play himself in it.

5. He thinks of himself as a Republican maverick, like Teddy Roosevelt. In fact, the truth be known, McCain really is Teddy Roosevelt.

6. McCain had a chance to sign the Declaration of Independence, but he decided to steer an 'independent' course and try to reach across the aisle to the British instead.

7. McCain is against torture. He became convinced it doesn't work during the Inquisition.

8. McCain, as a teenager, used to baby sit Ronald Reagan.

9. McCain's confusion over which Muslims are the Shiites and which are the Sunnis is understandable. He's used to thinking of them all as Saracens.

10. McCain has recently been speaking out against Global Warming. He remembers how hard it was for everyone the last time the ice sheets melted and flooded the land bridge to Asia.

11. And finally-- Al Gore may have invented the internet, but McCain has never been properly credited for his invention of the fishing net.

9 comments:

Trooper York said...

Ageism is so cool! Can we make some Alzheimers jokes? How about some Depends quips?

I look forward to your list of black jokes and humorous bon mots about bitchy women.

Ohhhh right....never mind.

shrimplate said...

I liked the one about Saracens the best.

Indy Voter said...

Heh-heh. There are some good ones there. I'm looking forward to the McCain-Obama debate when he says "I knew Thomas Jefferson, and you're no Thomas Jefferson."

York, you can make just as many funny jokes about Obama's youth as you can about McCain's age. Fundamentally, age doesn't matter when it comes to things like governance or leadership. Heck, McCain himself makes jokes about his age (catch his appearance on SNL a couple weeks back?), and jokes like Eli's made and most others I've heard probably helphim more than hurt him because of their absurdity.

Trooper York said...

I realize that indy voter, it's just that Eli often strikes a highly moralistic tone and I was just teasing him at his home base. I do think anything is fair to joke about including race and gender but I don't think that is the case for everyone who will get their panties in a twist. It just has to be funny.

Eli Blake said...

Dang, it looks like blogger ate my reply the other day.

In any case, it was 'I'm a partisan, and anyone who reads much of what I write is well aware of it, so get a sense of humor.'

Trooper York said...

Fair enough Eli, but don't get pissed if we come with some edgy partisan humor as the campaign goes on. I just came into possession of a slew of Amos and Andy transcripts. Just sayn'

shrimplate said...

Trooper york is just playing the same old witless excuse card the rightwing assholes have been using now for years:

They say something mean-spirited, uninformed, and stupid, and when they're called to the mat on it they back down like mice and say they were only making a joke.

I fucking hate that shit, but they'll never stop. It's programmed into them. Again, like mice.

Trooper York said...

Oh you mean like the posting of lame McCain jokes shrimpdick. I don't care what you post because anything should be mocked and ridiculed but you guys love to dish out the chimpymchilter shit but don't like when it comes back to you very much. I think if you want to strike the liberal sanctimonious card then leave to nasty humor to the vast right wing conspiracy. And don't worry, you pal BO is a target rich environment for humor as long as he lasts in the national spotlight. If your girl Hillary doesn't have him whacked at the convention.

Apologies to Eli for intruding in a liberal sanctum Sanctorum. He was always a polite and decent commenter and I don’t mean to pollute his bandwidth.

Zelph said...

My favorite McCain joke:

When a reporter asked McCain "Boxers or briefs", he replied "Depends"